Cruel Reality
by Mercury Nacht
Summary: AU! Ivan suffers from a mental disorder, and his friends leave him. Matthew becomes friends with him, but will it go elsewhere? Ruscan! Rating may go up in later chapters.
1. Cruel Discovery

**A/N: I own no part of Hetalia: Axis Powers. All mistakes are my own! **Hidekazu Himaruya does. If I did, Russia and Canada would be living in a field of sunflowers.

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Ivan walked home from the movie he had seen with his "friends". They had invited him along so he wouldn't be lonely, but thy didn't hink he would notice. He had. Recently it seemed as if they had been hanging out with him less and less. _Probably because they think I'm a freak._ It was true though; Ivan knew he wasn't normal. He had what the doctor said were cognitive issues,so he had issues remembering. He also had hallucinations, so his "friends" had to help him figure out what was real. The doctors had no earthly idea what was wrong with him and couldn't figure out what to do. His friends had turned more into his babysitters. So of course they didn't want to hang out with him.

He had reached his door, and pulled out his key to unlock it. Inside the house, he could smell supper. His older sister Katyusha must have started dinner without him. Ivan and his sister Natalya lived with her after their dad died a year ago. " Ivan, is that you? I'm not expecting Natalya until tomorrow so I hope it is Ivan." Ivan laughed at his sister for rambling. He loved her Ukrainian accent. She had been raised there by Ivan's grandparents when his parents couldn't support her and themselves. She had moved to the United States when she was fifteen when the family was finally reunited. Natalya had been raised by his Uncle and Aunt in Belarus, and Ivan had been raised by his parents in Russia on a farm, because "boys should be able to handle much more work than a girl" his father would say. They had saved up every penny and moved to the U.S. when he was 12, Katyusha was 15, and Natalya was 9. They had all spoken Russian fairly well (Natalya and Katyusha could both speak two languages because of where they were raised) but had to overcome the barriers of living in the U.S. Their Mom had died when Iva was 14 and their dad when he was 15. Ivan was 16 now, and had lived with Katyusha since there dad died. "Yes, it's me, silly. Who else would it be?" Ivan said with a smile as he walked towards the kitchen. Katyusha was smiling, and he was happy for the first time today. All of a sudden, a man broke through the window and stabbed Katyusha through the back...

Katyusha was smiling at Ivan, her little brother. She was always worried about him because of his mental state, but she made sure he got to the doctor no matter how poor she was. She made sure Natalya got to play in the band too. Katyusha didn't get to do much for herself, but she didn't care as long as her siblings were taken care of. She looked back over at Ivan, who had a look of pure horror on his face. "Ivan? Ivan?" Ivan collapsed, and Katyusha ran over to him, dropping the knife she had been cutting vegetables with. "Ivan! Ivan!" She pulled out her phone and dialed 911.

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Ivan woke up and heard voices. He kept his eyes closed and listened.

"Has this happened before?" "No, this is new."

Ivan recognized Katyusha's voice.

"Tell me ma'am, what symptoms has he experienced before?"

"... The last doctor said he was experiencing cognitive issues. Then he had a delusion where he thought that the events in some movie he saw were completely real. The he became dysfunctional with his school work. In the past week though, he told me about people being in the room with us. I think he's hallucinating." Katyusha then broke down and started crying.

"Well, ma'am, you named off the symptoms of an uncommon mental condition. We would like to keep him over the next week to observe and test him."

"Will it help him?" "If it's what i think it is, then we can help with some of his symptoms, but not all." "... Okay. I give you permission."

Ivan had been in the hospital for three days when Alfred, Arthur, Francis, and Yao came to visit him. They all had a sad look on their faces. Alfred, being the self claimed leader of the group stepped forward. " Ivan. This is hard for us to say, but, uhh, as of late we've been acting more like your babysitters than your friend. And we don't want to have a friendship like that. So, we aren't friends anymore."

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Ivan had been out of the hospital for three days, and was finally going back to school. He walked over to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet and took his medicine. The doctor told him that he had schizoaffective disorder, and they put him on an antipsychotic. _Today is going to be a long day._

12:30 p.m.

Ivan walked over towards his normal lunch table. His ex-friends saw him and shook their heads. Ivan sighed and walked towards the near deserted table in the corner. 3 people were sitting there, and one looked shockingly similar to Alfred. He sat at the other end of the table and didn't even bother opening the lunch his sister packed for him. Instead, he laid his head down on the table and sobbed silently. After about a minute, he felt a tap on his shoulder. The kid who looked oddly like Alfred was sitting next to him. "You can come sit next to us if you want. You don't have to sit down here all alone." Ivan thought the offer over, and decided to sit by them. "Okay." He grabbed his lunch and scooted down next to the group. a peppy looking Italian spoke up first. "Hi! I'm Feliciano! This big guy next to me is Ludwig!" Ludwig looked over at the Italian, who was practically sitting in his lap. " Felciano! For the love of Gott, get off of me!" Ludwig's face had turned a nice shade of red. " A-and I'm Matthew Williams." Ivan thought for a moment... But he couldn't remember anything. _Dumb memory issues._ "It's okay if you don't remember me. No one ever does, but we did a project in chemistry. And you're friends with my twin Alfred." At the sound of Alfred's name, Ivan started crying. " I knew I had heard your name before. *sob* I have memory problems. *sob*" Ivan buried his head in his jacket. "Ivan, is everything alright?" Ivan realized he had been crying out loud. "To be honest, no. Alfred and my other friends stopped being my friends because they thought it was turning more into babysitting me. I have some stupid mental disorder, it's not my fault."

Matthew was apalled that his brother would do that. _He is such a dick sometimes. I'm going to be Ivan's friend because it looks lik he has no others._ "Well, I'm going to be your friend Ivan. Here, this is my cell phone number. If you can, text me or call me if you need to. *RIIIINNNGGG*

Ivan headed off to the 10th grade homerooms so he could get ready to go to work. _Matthew's number. Now I have a reason to use my phone besides call Katyusha and Natalya. I mean, the only one of my ex-friends to give me their numbers was Alfred. _Ivan headed of towards work. Since Katyusha didn't make much, he had to work to help pay for things.

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**A/N: Sorry about the OOC with Ivan, he is because a mean Ivan wouldn't exactly have worked well. I'll try to get him more into it. It picks up more next chapter, this was just an introductory thing. This is my first hetalia fic, so please review! **


	2. Blossoming Love

A/N: I don't own Hetalia, Hidekazu Himaruya does does. The song lyrics are from "Hollywood" by Marina and the Diamonds, and I don't own the song. Matthew has quite the potty mouth!

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Ivan got off work and started heading home. _I think I'm going to text Matthew. He seemed nice, and was kinda cute._ Ivan stopped in his tracks. _Did I just think a boy was cute? Well it makes sense._ Ivan had never found girls attractive, but had always attributed it to "not being at that age". He pulled out the number and sent a text that simply said "Hi. Is this Matthew?" A few moments later he heard the ringtone on his phone go off. "Oh oh, living I'm obsessed with the mess that's America..." Ivan blushed, he was in a public place and the "girly" ringtone was loud. He liked the song though. He checked who it was from. Matthew. _So little Matvey wasn't kidding about being my friend._ Ivan walked home, texting little Matvey the whole time. He walked in his front door, and ran smack into Natalya who was on her way to a date with her boyfriend. Natalya fell, and Ivan looked own, super embarrased. "Watch where your going брат! You almost knocked me out!" Ivan blushed even harder. "Sorry sis. I wasn't paying attention..." Natalya just walked out the door and he headed towards the kitchen. "Katyusha! Where are you?" Ivan walked over to the fridge so he could get something to drink. On the fridge was a note that said Ivan in big letters. "Dear Ivan, I am going out with a few of my friends to see a movie. I made you dinner, it's in the fridge. I will be back around 10:30 tonight, and you better be asleep. - Love big sis Katyusha!" Ivan looked around, deciding he was going to go to bed earlier than normal. "Otherwise it would be a long night, da?"

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Matthew had been texting Ivan all afternoon. _I didn't think he would actually remember me. It's weird, the one boy I think is cute, actually remembers me. _The only others who remembered him were Feliciano, Ludwig, and Jett. Everyone else forgot he existed. Ivan texted him that he was getting in the shower, and Matthew's brain wandered of in a dirty direction. He knew he was into guys, and so did his friends and family. He didn't particularly care if others found him disgusting, they all forgot him fairly quickly. He had gone on a few dates with Jett last year, but broke it off because he thought Jett was too clingy. They were still friends though. Matthew sighed, feeling slightly lonely because Ivan had stopped texting. Everyone thought he was crazy because he would go from being happy to threatening to beat people with a pipe in a matter of seconds, but Matthew didn't care. Ivan was nice to him. "Matthew! Dinner's Done!" _That dickhead Alfred gets on my nerves soo much._ "Coming!"

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Dinner was quiet, and over quickly. Matthew's dad had to go work in his office, and Alfred's mom had to draw some designs. "Hey Mattie, you want some ice cream?" Matthew thought for a second. "Sure." A few minutes later, Alfred brought over two bowls of ice cream. "Thanks Alfred." They ate in silence for a minute before Matthew decided to ask something that was bugging him. "Hey Alfred, why do you not like Ivan?" Alfred looked shocked, to say the least. Matthew was rather shocked too, surprised by how brazen he was in asking the question. " I don't like Ivan because he's a crybaby who can't deal with his own issues. Why do you care anyway?" Alfred asked, sounding extremely irritated. "He couldn't deal with his own issues because he has a mental disorder! You and you're friends ditched him in his time of need!" Matthew was shocked that his voice was growing above his normal arguing level and actually growing to a full blown shout. " I really think you are just such a dick! He NEEDED you guys! I'm standing up for him because I think he's a good guy!" Matthew stormed out of the kitchen as his parents rushed into a highly confused Alfred. Matthew ran upstairs to his room and locked the door. He walked over and checked his phone. 9:15. 1 New Message. Matthew checked the message from Ivan. "Goodnight, Мой маленький Матвей :)" Matthew laughed at the use of Russian, so he countered with a little French. " And you too, mon adorable Ivan." He blushed, as the French was more obvious, but who cares.

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брат- Brother (Belarusian)

Мой маленький Матвей - My little Matvey (Russian)

mon adorable Ivan- My loveable Ivan (French)

All mistakes with tranlaions are my own, I used Google translate.

Yay another chapter done! I posted this story, and I kept getting e-mails about getting another review or follow. I was feeling rather depressed, but I saw all of these e-mails which made me motivated to put this chapter out! Those of you that review or follow, you keep me going! Don't stop the reviews please!


	3. Silent Park

**I don't own Hetalia,Hidekazu Himaruya does. The lyrics are from the song "Reflections are Protection" by La Roux, which I also don't own. All mistakes are my own, Hope everyone likes this chapter!**

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Matthew woke up, doing his morning ritual of stretching and yawning. He took his shower and got dressed up before heading downstairs. Alfred stared at him from the table while he headed into the kitchen._ Funny. I don't feel the least bit guilty either._ Matthew's Dad was in the kitchen, making himself a lunch. "Morning, Son." "..." Matthew had tried saying something, but no sound came out. "..." Now he was getting irritated. _Must've lost my voice while I was shouting at the dickhead last night. *sigh. Light bulb!* I'll go grab my dry erase board and only talk when necessary._ Matthew ran upstairs and dug through his closet, grabbed the board, and ran back downstairs. "Lost my voice, can't talk." His dad just shook his head in acknowledgement. _Today is going to be fuuunnn (_sarcasm)

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Ivan heard his alarm clock go off, and he made a break for the bathroom. If he didn't hurry, he couldn't get ready. Natalya liked to get in the bathroom and stay in there all morning. He managed to get in before her, but just barely. He brushed his hair and teeth and took his pills. After getting dressed, he made himself lunch and packed his bag. He looked at the time. 6:30. _Better get Natalya._ " Natalya, the bus will be here in about five minutes, da?" "Mkay big brother."

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Ivan walked into the lunchroom, excited to see Matthew. He felt a flutter in his chest at the thought of talking to Matthew. He sat down at his normal spot next to Matthew. "Hello, little Matvey, how are you?" Matthew looked over at him and wrote something on a dry erase board. "Lost my voice." "How in the world did you do that? Do we need to go get it back?" Ivan was genuinely concerned. Matthew snickered and wrote again. " It's not lost, I yelled at Alfred last night and since I normally don't talk that loud, It made it to where I can't talk." Ivan felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Good, because I don't think I could handle you not talking. Matvey, would you like to go to the park with me later?" Matthew shook his head yes. "Good. I'll meet you in front of the school after dismissal." *RIIIIINNNNGGGG*

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The rest of the school day couldn't pass fast enough for either of them. But it was finally the end of the day. Ivan had a class towards the front of the school, so he got there first. He hadn't been able to take his mind off of Matthew all afternoon. He finally showed up, and they walked towards the park. Since Matthew couldn't talk, it was quiet. When they got to the park, they walked over to the swings. "So how are you Matthew?" Matthew pulled the board out and wrote "fine". Then Matthew wrote more. He had been thinking about telling Ivan since lunch, and his confidence swelled. "Ivan, I like you. In a more than friends way. I can't help it, but we don't have to be friends if that affects how you see me." Ivan had a slight blush. Matthew got embarrassed, thinking Ivan had turned him down. Then, the last thing he was expecting happened. Ivan had grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. It was soft, but confident and gave a message much deeper than words. They both pulled apart, remembering that they were in a public place. "Little Matvey, if you couldn't tell already, I like you too." Matthew smiled and blushed. "My reflections are protection..." Matthew looked down at his phone, he was getting a call from his dad. He rejected the call and sent his dad a text instead. "Still can't talk, what do you need?" Ivan decided to swing because the conversation looked important. *Beep* "Where are you? I need you home so I can talk to you." Matthew sighed. "Fine." He then decided to send Ivan a text. "My dad is getting on to me, I have to go home. How about we go see a movie on Saturday? I'll see you tomorrow, mon cher."

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**Mon cher- my dear (French)**

**A/N: Yaayyyy! Sorry if this isn't as good as the other ones, I wrote it in maybe three hours instead of my normal 5. I had two themes I wanted for this chapter, and they didn't wrap together very well. I try to update every two days, since these are the early chapters. Please review! *Gives virtual hug to everyone who has reviewed!***

P.S. Ivan got upset because he had never heard the phrase before. Sorry if this chapter seems cheesy, writing this kind of stuff is new to me.


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